


AU - yes YES the tiger is out (and can't be put back)

by saltysarah



Series: For I Still Live [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, An AU of an AU, Canon-Typical Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 00:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30013218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltysarah/pseuds/saltysarah
Summary: The past catches up with the present. You can only help someone who wants to be helped.
Series: For I Still Live [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193600
Comments: 11
Kudos: 153





	AU - yes YES the tiger is out (and can't be put back)

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU of the original 3-part series, of what I consider canon in this 'verse.

Yan didn’t quite know what to expect from the private comm ID, attached as it was to a Jedi extension, but he certainly hadn’t expected his Padawan’s old paramour.

“...Knight Tahl?”

Her smile was brittle. “Master Dooku, it’s good to hear your voice again. I have your Grandpadawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, with me. Would it be possible for us to visit you on Serenno? I think Obi-Wan would benefit from some time spent with his lineage.”

“...where is Qui-Gon?” he asked, somehow even more confused.

Tahl’s smile widened into something biting and vicious. It was not a look he had ever seen on the usually mild-mannered Knight.

“You may contact him at the Coruscant Temple,” she replied. “I believe the Council has requested he stay indefinitely.”

“Knight Tahl, why is my Padawan in Coruscant while _his_ Padawan is with you?”

“I believe,” Tahl said, “that is a conversation that should happen in-person.”

Yan frowned. “Are either of you in need of medical attention?”

“Not exactly,” Tahl hedged. “Obi-Wan is currently resting, but I believe he needs…a different perspective.”

“Knight Tahl, what exactly is going on?” he demanded.

“We need help, Master Dooku,” Tahl said flatly. “Obi-Wan needs help, and I need help with him. He refuses to return to Coruscant, not that I think they could help."

“And you think I can?” he asked, dubious.

“You're a part of his lineage, Master Dooku,” she returned. “If you can’t, no one can.”

That was not as reassuring as she thought it was.

He bit back a sigh. “Where are you now, in relation to Serenno?” He immediately recognised Tahl’s look of guilt. “Spit it out.”

“We’re in orbit,” she admitted.

He didn’t curse her out, but it was a near thing. “Of course you are. I’ll contact Planetorial Defence, Knight Tahl; standby for clearance.”

“Yes, Master. And- thank you.”

Well, if nothing else, his sabbatical had just gotten interesting.

* * *

Tahl was blind. That was the first thing he noticed. The second was just how worn she looked. She was using the Force to guide her steps, but her obvious exhaustion wasn’t doing her any favours. Dooku quickly took her elbow and guided her into a seat.

“Master Dooku,” she rasped. Her hands were far rougher than he expected, given how Tahl had never been a frontline warrior. “I wish we were meeting under more auspicious circumstances.”

“I’m calling a doctor for you,” he told her bluntly.

“I’m fine,” Tahl demurred, “it’s just exhaustion, is- is Obi-Wan out yet?”

“I thought you said he was sleeping?”

Tahl’s smile looked pained. “Obi-Wan, please,” she called, “I’d like you to meet your Grandmaster, Yan Dooku.”

A boy stepped out - not bearing the tunics and tabards of a Jedi Padawan, but a worn and fitted outfit more suited to a spacer or even a pirate. There was a hooded wrap looped around his neck, a blaster rifle slung over his shoulder, and another blaster strapped to his thigh. There was no Padawan braid behind his ear, and his clean face made his injuries more evident.

There was, however, a lightsaber clipped to his truly comprehensive utility belt.

The Force was deathly silent - no, the Force was _grieving._

Kenobi’s face was thin, his skin sallow, and his eyes, when he met Yan’s, were blatantly challenging and untrusting. Sy would laugh if he heard that Yan had been struck speechless, but he truly could not for the life of him think of anything to say.

Kenobi nodded once, in greeting. “Do you prefer Yan or Dooku?”

“...Yan, I suppose,” he said blankly. “Would you prefer Obi-Wan or Kenobi?”

The boy narrowed his eyes at him, assessing. “Kenobi, for now.” He glanced at Tahl. “Tahl, I’m going to find a bunk.”

Yan thoughtlessly raised a hand and the boy immediately snapped to attention.

“I apologise,” he said, and was somewhat astonished to realise that he genuinely meant it. His valet, Tren, stepped forward. “I only meant for Tren to show you to your rooms.”

Kenobi’s eyes ticked between him and Tren several times. “Tell me which rooms you don’t want me in,” he said instead.

Tren glanced at him. Yan nodded, lightly brushing the man’s mind to let him know that Kenobi should receive the child-friendly tour.

“This way, sir,” Tren said.

“Just Kenobi,” the boy replied, “I’m no ‘sir’. And thanks.”

Well, whatever else he was, at least he had manners. He and Tahl stared at each other - or rather, Yan stared at Tahl and she looked past his right ear - until Tren had led the boy out of earshot.

“What,” he began very quietly, “is going on?”

All at once, Tahl began to list sideways.

“You’re going to a doctor, right now,” Yan growled.

Tahl’s hand shot out to grip his wrist with surprising strength. “You need to hear this,” she insisted.

“And I will,” he promised, _“after_ you’ve rested.”

Her worry didn’t dissipate. “But Obi-Wan-.”

“-is in good hands,” he said, and sincerely hoped he wasn’t lying. Tahl was unconscious before the doctor had even arrived.

“Sir.” It was Tren on the intercomm, as Tahl was being stretchered to the medical centre. An uneasy feeling settled in his bones.

“What is it?”

“Sir, I regret to inform you Kenobi has gone missing.”

_Kark._

* * *

As it turned out, the boy wasn’t that hard to find, although it was oddly difficult to trace his steps with the Force. He’d gone to the very top of the residence - and by very top, Yan meant the roof.

“Are you planning to sleep up there?” Yan was not going to dignify Kenobi’s little tantrum by crawling out onto the roof to join him.

“What did Tahl tell you?” Kenobi asked instead.

“Nothing,” he replied truthfully. “She fainted before she could even get started.”

Kenobi seemed unmoved. “I told her she wasn’t sleeping enough.”

“Is there a reason for that?”

“There’s a reason for my lack of sleep,” Kenobi returned. “Not sure what’s hers.”

Well then.

“Knight Tahl mentioned you were resting on the flight over.”

The boy shrugged. “It made her feel better to think I was.”

“You were eavesdropping on everything she was saying, weren’t you?”

Kenobi sent him a scornful look. “You saw how big her ship was. Would you really call it eavesdropping?” Fair enough. Yan still had no idea why he was entertaining the child - except that he seemed to be anything but.

“Do you agree with Knight Tahl’s assessment that you would benefit from spending time with your lineage?”

“Yeah, nope,” Kenobi replied. “I don’t have a lineage.” The words were - harder to hear than he expected.

“Hey.” Kenobi had sidled closer to the edge while Yan had been lost in his regrets. “I wasn’t knocking on you, not personally. You weren’t even involved, so this isn't on you. Besides, I really don’t have a lineage anymore; I left the Order a whole year ago.”

“Knight Tahl neglected to mention that fact.” If his tone was sharper than he had originally intended, he rather thought he couldn’t be blamed. “One would think that would be the first thing she should mention.”

Kenobi shrugged. “She probably wanted to present me in a better light. She wants me to go back. I think she wants your help persuading me."

“And you have no intention of doing so.” He should _not_ have been warmed by Kenobi’s approbation.

“How did you end up - like that?” Yan had to ask, gesturing at the boy’s face.

Kenobi snorted. “You should see the other guy; they’re dead.”

He started at the boy’s blasé attitude. “It was war,” Kenobi scorned, “what did you expect I would do, hug ‘em?”

“Why,” Yan asked carefully, “were you in a war? Where was your Master?”

Kenobi shrugged. “I chose to stay, so he left me there.”

* * *

“What in all Sith hells did Qui-Gon do.”

Yan was _seething._

“He made a mistake,” Tahl said tiredly. “A year ago, I was sent to Melida/Daan with him and Obi-Wan to mediate a peace between the 2 warring factions. Melida/Daan had been at war with itself for so long, no one even remembers how it started. Peace would have been - revolutionary.

“But our talks were sabotaged, and we were made aware of a 3rd faction who called themselves the Young. They were the children of Melida and Daan, who had rallied themselves in the hope that their generation would be the last to see war.”

Yan hated this already.

“The Young were rejected. The adults of Melida and Daan - the Elders - came together to wage war on them.”

“That is… _anathema.”_

Tahl simply nodded. “Even if the Young weren’t suing for peace, I don’t think we could have abandoned them to their fate. That is, at least until I was ambushed, and received the injury that would cost me my sight.”

“No,” Yan said flatly.

“Perhaps if I had remained conscious, things might have been different. Qui-Gon wanted to get me medical treatment. Obi-Wan wanted to stay. I- do not fully know the words they exchanged. I can no longer trust Qui-Gon to tell me the truth where Obi-Wan is concerned, and Obi-Wan will only say that he made his choice, and that the Force led him to it.”

Tahl sent him a cutting glance.

“We both know how often Qui-Gon uses that excuse, and how much he _hates_ it when someone else does.”

Yan closed his eyes. He knew what had happened next without Tahl telling him.

“Obi-Wan made his choice,” she said. “And Qui-Gon made mine for me.”

Yan thought back to the boy, and wondered if Tahl's words had made him see him in a new light. No, he decided, not entirely so, at least.

“A year,” he said.

“A year,” Tahl agreed. “I was in a coma for most of it, and was only recently cleared to leave the Halls. When I first woke up, I was still disoriented. The Council was… _concerned_ I was remembering things wrongly.”

Yan was _furious_ on her behalf.

“I told them quite frankly that I had dissolved all bonds with Qui-Gon, never wanted to see him, let alone work with him again, and if they ever let him take another Padawan, they were out of their karking minds.”

Yan was startled into laughter.

Tahl smiled. “Unfortunately, not all of the Council took my words as well as you did. I’m supposed to be under probation right now.”

“If I remember correctly, Knight Tahl, Jedi under probation are not cleared to leave the Temple.”

She shrugged. “Finding Obi-Wan was more important.”

“And you have found him,” he said warmly, “congratulations. Now, what do you intend to do with him?”

In the time that Tahl had been resting, Kenobi had found his way to the guard barracks. Once his Captain had been assured that Kenobi was friendly, they had slipped into an almost-easy camaraderie where Kenobi sat just out of reach and they joked about guerilla tactics.

The breadth of the boy’s knowledge for his age had been startling. Also, telling.

Tahl faltered. “I- I was hoping you would-.”

Yan gently shook his head. “One of the first things he said to me was that he had no lineage.” Tahl flinched. “It was only a statement, not meant to hurt, but - I think you and I know better, don’t we?”

Very, very softly, Tahl began to weep.

“Kenobi is no longer a Jedi, Knight Tahl. Certainly, your grief is yours, but regret is not something he feels.” No, Kenobi was a soldier, through and through, and soldiers had no time for regret.

“What happened when you found him, Tahl?” He discreetly handed her some tissues.

She dabbed at her face. “The Young had since won. I was flagged the moment I entered Melidaan airspace and told that much. They had a discussion if they would even let me land. You must understand: there were no more Elders on Melidaan. I might not have been an Elder, but I wasn’t Young, either.”

“They did let you land, though, in the end.”

“In the end,” she agreed. “I was as glad for their victory as I was grieved. What it must have cost them-.” Tahl broke off, shaking her head. “They were soldiers and generals where I had last known children. Warriors, each and every one of them. That was the cost of their survival.

“I wasn’t allowed to see Obi-Wan at first, and was kept under permanent guard.”

Not that children, even child-soldiers, could have stopped a Jedi Knight. 

“I had entertained some thoughts of slipping my guard and tracking him, but-.”

“He is a slippery one, isn’t he?” Yan agreed.

Tahl smiled. “I’m not quite sure how he does it - or even what he’s doing. With his guard up, he almost reads like a Force-Null, but when he relaxes - oh, when he relaxes! When he does, the Force _sings.”_

He would have to take her word for it. He did not think Kenobi would relax in his presence.

“By all accounts, the Young are not interested in the Jedi. By _your_ account, you had gone rogue and had nothing to offer them. So how is he here?”

Tahl frowned. “I beg your pardon?”

“Kenobi is a leader if I ever saw one.”

Tahl nodded. “Yes, he was one of the 3 leading the Young.”

“Then why would they permit one of their leaders to leave indefinitely with a foreign force?”

Tahl opened her mouth - and then stopped. It was obvious she hadn’t considered that, had likely been too relieved that the boy even agreed to go.

“And how was he expecting to return? Someone like him had to have planned for being left behind.”

“I would never leave him behind!” Tahl flared, but Yan held up his hand for peace.

“But he has no guarantee that you would take him where he would want to go.”

Tahl inhaled raggedly. “If Obi-Wan would do me the honour be being my Padawan, I would agree in a heartbeat, and damn what the Council might have to say about it.”

“But we both know that’s not what the Force is telling you to do,” Yan said evenly.

Tahl shook her head. “I wanted him to know that he wasn’t forgotten. That the Jedi still cared, that _I_ still cared. I wanted- I wanted to _help_ him.”

Every self-assured inch of Kenobi said he didn’t need help, let alone wanted it. Even if Tahl left him here today, Yan had no doubt that the boy would be able to find his own way back to Melidaan. In fact, Kenobi might even prefer to be left here so that he could disappear among the population and make his own way off-planet, outside of Yan’s purview.

“I don’t doubt that he knows it, Tahl,” he said quietly. Whether the boy cared for it, however, was a different story entirely.

“I don’t want to bring undue attention to him,” she rasped. “If the Council gets it in their kriffing heads that he’s Fallen-.”

“He's not,” Yan interrupted. The boy might be many things, but he most assuredly wasn’t _that._

“He was on Bandomeer, too, you know?” Tahl said bitterly. “With Qui-Gon and Xanatos. I could see the way Qui-Gon compared them - it wasn’t fair to Obi-Wan. It never was.”

Yan sighed. Fallen Padawans were a tricky business, and Qui-Gon had always been prideful. Xanatos’s loss had hit him hard, as Komari’s had hit Yan, but he had tried not to let that affect his relationship with Qui-Gon. While Yan doubted he had been fully successful, it sounded like Qui-Gon hadn’t even tried.

* * *

“Yes,” he drawled, “your errant Knight Tahl is with me, recovering. Don’t lose any more hair on her account, Master Windu.”

Yoda interrupted before Windu could retort; shame. Yan did so enjoy their banter.

“Find the boy, she did?”

“You’re going to have to be more precise, my old Master. There are no shortage of boys in the galaxy.” It was telling that Sy was not on the Council, even if he most definitely was on Coruscant.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Koon bit off. “I would think you would be more concerned with your lineage.”

Yan didn’t bother holding back his snort. “As far as I know, I am no lineage of his. Kenobi has made that abundantly clear.” He beckoned the boy forward from where he had suddenly appeared in his doorway. He had impeccable timing, as always.

Windu drew himself upright. “Master Dooku, you will explain-.” He cut himself off at the sight of Kenobi. Yan didn’t blame him; most people did.

His wounds were healing, but the jagged cut around his left eye would scar, badly. His Padawan braid, Yan had learnt, had been yanked out by the root before Kenobi could cut it off. It had bled profusely and Kenobi would forever have a bald patch behind his ear. It wasn’t visible, given the way he’d grown out the rest of it, but he’d told Yan. He’d even showed him the patch of bare skin, all seemingly on a whim.

“I don’t know who most of you are and I honestly don’t care,” Kenobi said flatly. “Most of you didn’t know who I was, either, and fewer of you cared. So stop fooling yourselves and leave me out of your petty arguments; you made your stand quite clear when Jinn left me for dead. I won’t make the mistake of trusting one of you ever again. If you continue to press, my next reply won’t be quite so polite.”

The holo turned off without any outward assistance. It was the first time Yan had seen Kenobi use the Force.

The boy turned to him, one eyebrow raised. There was a nick running through it. “Satisfied?”

“I think that's my question.”

Kenobi snorted. “Satisfaction implies I had feelings about the situation in the first place. All I want is for you Jedi to stop fooling yourselves and go back to playing in your Inner Rim sandbox. The Outer Rim takes care of its own.”

“Like how it took care of you?”

“It certainly taught me more than the Jedi ever did.”

“Tahl never meant to hurt you.”

“Well wishes are meaningless. Intentions can kill as easy as actions do.”

“She does love you. She only thought she was doing what was best for you.”

Kenobi stared blankly back at him. “The Elders also thought they were doing what was best for us. Should we have laid our heads down on the chopping block ourselves?”

Yan flinched at the comparison. “I apologise, Kenobi, I-.” He huffed. “I am not often at a loss for words.”

“You could just shut up and let me leave.”

Truly, his irreverence was charming. Yan didn’t doubt Kenobi had been quite the different creature before Melidaan, but he was inconceivably fond of the one before him now. He rather thought Kenobi preferred himself this way, too.

“I…am not in the habit of letting an asset walk away from me.” He held up his hand to temper Kenobi's diatribe before it could begin. “Not an asset for the Jedi Order, no - but I am still my sister’s brother. I am still Serenno’s son.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Yan caught Kenobi’s eye and slowly reached inside his robe. Kenobi’s expression went flinty and he didn’t relax even after Yan only drew out a flimsi card.

“This is my sister’s comm ID. Duchess Jenza is the current ruler of Serenno - this is our private line.” He offered Kenobi the card. “I…trust you not to do anything untoward with this information.”

“Still a lot of other things I could do with it.”

Yan nodded. “There is that. However. You are a talented and enterprising young man. I don’t doubt you will make your own way in the galaxy, regardless of the plans Qui-Gon, Yoda, or even yourself once had.

“Jenza’s contact is not a lifeline. I think you would only contact her if you had something you could both benefit from. As you said, the Outer Rim takes care of its own.”

Kenobi sneered. “Like Serenno and its overflowing coffers count.”

That was not the first time Yan had been rebuffed with that reason. “Tell me something original, next time,” he drawled.

Still, Kenobi plucked the card from his fingers and gazed down at it, considering. Then, with a masterful flip and twist of his wrist, he made the card disappear.

“Of course the fool taught you sabacc,” Yan muttered.

Kenobi looked amused. “You’d think, wouldn’t you? The only thing I learnt from Jinn about sabacc was how to lose.” He nodded at him. “I do hope Tahl recovers. I also hope we don’t see each other ever again.”

“It probably isn’t wise for her to do so,” Yan admitted.

“Probably,” Kenobi agreed. “Her head’s still stuck in the past.” He turned to leave.

“Where is your head at, Kenobi?”

The boy raised an arm in farewell.

“Looking to the future.”

* * *

(4 years later, on the eve of the resurgence of the Mandalorian Empire, Jenza told him Kenobi finally called.)

**Author's Note:**

> Title adapted from Nael, age 6, ‘The Tiger’, They’re Singing a Song in Their Rocket.


End file.
